BREAKING NEWS–

The votes of the administrators have just been counted regarding the rules of the hallway.

Walking on the physical right side of the hallway is banned from Jonathan Alder High School. The administrators have decided to put an end to walking on the physical right side of the hallway after a heavy concentration of Jonathan Alder students never walked on the physical right side of the hallway anyways.

Some students may not even notice the change in rules, considering they never walked on the right side of the hallway in the first place. Therefore, this shouldn’t be such a big deal for many, especially the underclassmen.

Administration also voted to encourage students to walk and talk in groups so large that they stretch from one side to the other; with the goal of angering upperclassmen who wish to get to their classes.

This change will inevitably look like complete and utter chaos and will cause a plethora of students to be late to their classes. The administrators have decided not to change the time allotted for students to travel from class to class for this sloppy fashion of walking. Off the record, administrators have said “…it is [the students’] responsibility to arrive to their classes on time…”

If you’re looking to get to class on time and not frustrate upperclassmen, make sure you walk on the correct side of the hallway and walk in clusters that span from wall to wall.